Sweet Nothings

This love affair that we have . . . Words can’t fully describe it. I’ve never loved like this before. I don’t remember how or when, but some time ago, I got caught up. Nights when no one was there, I turned to you. You made me whole. Sleepless nights - you were there. Stress at work – you were there. I turned to you for protection. I loved you and you loved me – COMPLETELY. But now as I look back over our times together, I realize that your love for me wasn’t as genuine as I perceived it to be. Many times after our rendezvous, you would leave me in pain. I was waiting, crying out for help, and you weren’t there. I paid professionals to fix what you had broken but that never really mattered to you. Even after all those sessions, I found myself running back to you. . . CANDY – MY SWEET NOTHING. ad•dic•tion -[uh-dik-shuhn] noun the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. As much as I hate to admit, I have realized that candy is my addiction. Starting on this weight loss journey, I knew that this would be difficult, but I didn’t realize that it would be THIS hard!!! For majority of my life, I’ve eaten candy EVERYDAY. In school, my classmates always knew that I would have some type of candy. My co-workers know. My family knows . . . Taking on a task that I knew would be challenging, I decided to quit candy “cold turkey” . . . After all, it’s just candy . . . right? WRONG!! The first day without candy was a breeze. I thought that since they were all just “sweets”, I could replace it with fruit. It lasted – that day. On the second day without my candy fix, I felt somewhat sick. I had a headache but I doubled-up on fruit trying to get the “sugar rush” that I thought I needed. The fruit helped, but it didn’t satisfy the longing that I had. By day three, I wanted to be admitted – to a hospital, mental ward, SOMEWHERE!! I was frustrated, irritated, and upset. I had a pounding headache and I started to cry . . . and cry . . . and cry. Was I seriously crying over the fact that I couldn’t eat candy? Even with no one around, I was embarrassed. Needless to say, I ate candy the rest of the week, and I felt great. But I was still disappointed with myself!! I needed a reasonable solution to fix this. I decided that instead of having candy 7 days a week, I would only fall victim to it for five days. THAT worked!! The next week, I got bold. I set out to only eat it four days, IT WORKED!!! The third week, I attempted 3 days . . . nope, it didn’t happen!! I ended up eating candy a fourth day. This week, I’m attempting three days again. I’ve already had it today, so I have just two more days to ration out. I look forward to being able to go seven complete days without candy. Due to work related stress and other issues, I haven’t stuck to my exercise routine over the past couple weeks. I recently did a foot detox that shocked me once I saw the toxins extracted. I’ve only lost 2.9 pounds in the past two weeks, but I’m ready to face this week head on!! Quote of the week: You must do the thing you think you cannot do – Eleanor Roosevelt

Just Stand Up - Various Artists

Not so Lucky!!!

As I prepared to go to Las Vegas last week, I decided on a low carb diet so that I would drop a few pounds quickly and not have to worry about putting on “extra” weight while on vacation. For the entire week, I ate baked/grilled chicken and some type of greens (lettuce, raw spinach, etc.). I only drank water (as I mostly do anyways) and had a small amount of “lite” apple juice. The first day was HORRIBLE. I had no energy, and was sleepy the entire day. By the second day, I realized that I needed to replace those bad carbs that I had eliminated with good ones, and everything was much better the remaining days! Friday FINALLY arrived and it was time to leave for Vegas. After I weighed my luggage, I decided to weigh myself . . . Had this low carb diet really worked? Were the boring meals worth it? The moment of truth . . . lost 4.9 pounds!! I was excited because even IF I put on a few pounds while in Vegas, I would have to worry about weighing more than when I started. Needless to say, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” . . .EXCEPT . . .

In “Old Vegas” (downtown Las Vegas), there is a zip line that you can
ride from one end of the street to the side. If you know me, you know
that I’m a thrill seeker, so I was excited about the opportunity to do
so . . . UNTIL my bestie Candi and I got to entrance to read the
requirements for riding. In big, black, bold letters it
read : “Maximum weight requirement: 250 pounds”. BUMMER!! Honestly, I
wasn’t THAT upset because I had already predicted that there was some
weight requirement, but I was praying that it was more than what I ]
weighed. I told Candi that I would wait while she rode, but she
insisted that it would be boring without her BFF. . . Although I
didn’t acknowledge it, I could see her “checking” to see if I was
upset with the fact that I couldn’t ride, but I kept my poker face on
and we continued on our way . . .

The night before we left, I had insisted on riding the roller coaster
at New York, New York ( a hotel/casino) in Vegas. We walked a little
over two miles at night for me to get to the roller coaster, so I
prayed that I could actually ride when we got there. Not only would
it had been embarrassing to not be able to, but my friends would have
been upset for having to walk that far (I assume), for NOTHING! As I
approached the line, I saw the sign . . . “People of certain weights
and/or certain size bodies or body types may not be able to ride.” I
contemplated just getting out of line and pretending that I had
ridden, but that would just be cowardly, I thought. As I paid my $14
to ride, I was relieved to see someone bigger than me up ahead in the
line and even more relieved when I saw her exit AFTER the ride was
over. I WAS SAFE!! As I got in the seat, I pulled down the shoulder
restraints and pulled up the seat restraint. I was just certain that
I wasn’t locked in place, so I asked the attendants to check it about
six times. They assured me that I was locked in and I was. The ride
went well, and I left just as happy as the plus sized lady that I had
I had seen go before me.

I had planned to exercise while on vacation, but mistakenly left my tennis shoes home. Once I got home, I was excited about weighing myself. . . But, just as I had predicted, I had gained ZERO pounds while on vacation!! We walked SO MUCH while in Vegas and never did any binge eating so it was easy this time around. I do look forward to going back to Vegas, and when I do, I WILL meet the weight requirements for the zip line even though I was not so lucky this time!!