Sweet Nothings

This love affair that we have . . . Words can’t fully describe it. I’ve never loved like this before. I don’t remember how or when, but some time ago, I got caught up. Nights when no one was there, I turned to you. You made me whole. Sleepless nights - you were there. Stress at work – you were there. I turned to you for protection. I loved you and you loved me – COMPLETELY. But now as I look back over our times together, I realize that your love for me wasn’t as genuine as I perceived it to be. Many times after our rendezvous, you would leave me in pain. I was waiting, crying out for help, and you weren’t there. I paid professionals to fix what you had broken but that never really mattered to you. Even after all those sessions, I found myself running back to you. . . CANDY – MY SWEET NOTHING. ad•dic•tion -[uh-dik-shuhn] noun the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. As much as I hate to admit, I have realized that candy is my addiction. Starting on this weight loss journey, I knew that this would be difficult, but I didn’t realize that it would be THIS hard!!! For majority of my life, I’ve eaten candy EVERYDAY. In school, my classmates always knew that I would have some type of candy. My co-workers know. My family knows . . . Taking on a task that I knew would be challenging, I decided to quit candy “cold turkey” . . . After all, it’s just candy . . . right? WRONG!! The first day without candy was a breeze. I thought that since they were all just “sweets”, I could replace it with fruit. It lasted – that day. On the second day without my candy fix, I felt somewhat sick. I had a headache but I doubled-up on fruit trying to get the “sugar rush” that I thought I needed. The fruit helped, but it didn’t satisfy the longing that I had. By day three, I wanted to be admitted – to a hospital, mental ward, SOMEWHERE!! I was frustrated, irritated, and upset. I had a pounding headache and I started to cry . . . and cry . . . and cry. Was I seriously crying over the fact that I couldn’t eat candy? Even with no one around, I was embarrassed. Needless to say, I ate candy the rest of the week, and I felt great. But I was still disappointed with myself!! I needed a reasonable solution to fix this. I decided that instead of having candy 7 days a week, I would only fall victim to it for five days. THAT worked!! The next week, I got bold. I set out to only eat it four days, IT WORKED!!! The third week, I attempted 3 days . . . nope, it didn’t happen!! I ended up eating candy a fourth day. This week, I’m attempting three days again. I’ve already had it today, so I have just two more days to ration out. I look forward to being able to go seven complete days without candy. Due to work related stress and other issues, I haven’t stuck to my exercise routine over the past couple weeks. I recently did a foot detox that shocked me once I saw the toxins extracted. I’ve only lost 2.9 pounds in the past two weeks, but I’m ready to face this week head on!! Quote of the week: You must do the thing you think you cannot do – Eleanor Roosevelt